One of the cons of having a toddler... is never really knowing if any plan is for certain.
From the day we've had this little pudding around us... all plans are secondary to him and how he's doing.
Some days of course it doesn't matter, because I'm such a homebody, that i'm genuinely ok staying at home, but some days when your brain is fried and you really just need to step out for a little bit and he falls sick or just gets really clingy and cranky you feel ... exasperated.
I mean yes, of course when he isn't doing good... there is no question.. like last night we had plans with friends and his tummy got sick... right till the last minute I thought he'd be ok... but then seeing his tiny little face and holding his tiny little body in my arms .... just changed everything....
You can't do it... You can't just go out there ... party, drink, chill with your friends when your 'thing' is unwell... your heart wont let you....
You think you can do it... you convince yourself he'll be ok... but you wont be...
When babies get sick... however mild or serious, they only get comforted with their mum... and this is something you have to understand when you have a kid.... before you have a kid more like...
And while there will be times your motherly senses will kick in and you'll be more than happy to be the one to hold him all night... but be prepared for the days and nights when you're motherly senses will have gone for a toss and your 23 year old self will make you want to just get out and head back to your wild days... you will get annoyed with the responsibility of another human being that simply clings to you...
This doesn't make you a bad mum...
From the day we've had this little pudding around us... all plans are secondary to him and how he's doing.
Some days of course it doesn't matter, because I'm such a homebody, that i'm genuinely ok staying at home, but some days when your brain is fried and you really just need to step out for a little bit and he falls sick or just gets really clingy and cranky you feel ... exasperated.
I mean yes, of course when he isn't doing good... there is no question.. like last night we had plans with friends and his tummy got sick... right till the last minute I thought he'd be ok... but then seeing his tiny little face and holding his tiny little body in my arms .... just changed everything....
You can't do it... You can't just go out there ... party, drink, chill with your friends when your 'thing' is unwell... your heart wont let you....
You think you can do it... you convince yourself he'll be ok... but you wont be...
When babies get sick... however mild or serious, they only get comforted with their mum... and this is something you have to understand when you have a kid.... before you have a kid more like...
And while there will be times your motherly senses will kick in and you'll be more than happy to be the one to hold him all night... but be prepared for the days and nights when you're motherly senses will have gone for a toss and your 23 year old self will make you want to just get out and head back to your wild days... you will get annoyed with the responsibility of another human being that simply clings to you...
This doesn't make you a bad mum...
.....It makes you a normal girl... a girl who suddenly became a mum... a girl who suddenly from enjoying a responsibility-less life... an easy going spontaneous life...
A get up and do what you feel like girl to one who has a tiny precious dependant little being in her arms...
This post is not to make you feel tied down... but one to explain to your 23 year old that you've finally grown up... you've taken charge of your life... made choices and decisions that have bigger consequences than before...
Every phase in life is fun... every phase has its own pros and cons... but as long as you don't let it affect you or bring you down when things aren't going your way you will always enjoy where you are at every moment in your life...
And to also tell your 32 year old self that you don't have to squash your 23 year old self completely... let loose somedays... judge how good or bad, how mild or serious the situation really is and decide to stay home or head out for the night...
If you always choose to stay home at the slightest sniffle... then yes he's just going to get more clingy... so loosen up those mommy strings a little every once in a while... !
Its a tough place to be in... and one that makes most girls not want to go thru it.. or want to pro long it as much as they can... but in my opinion... anytime is a good time to have a kid as long as you're prepared for everything that comes with it... and you'll never know, by other peoples experiences, what comes with it... till you have your own.. original piece!!!
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