Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Potty training... A whole new world...

Potty training....note: not for the faint hearted!

The next major step in mommy land.... 

This ones a big one... And seriously someone should give out medals for achieving this.... 

You know when Siddy was born and the first day he peed on me, I said "hah... This is going to be such a normal thing for me now... All this peeing and pooping... It can't faze me" 

Yes he has since frequently peed on me, Aadi and everyone who has changed his diaper when he was a baby... We have also had some pretty messy poopy situations... I won't get into details... But if you're a mum I know you're nodding your head in agreement!! 

But here is the truth... Over the last 18 months... I have come to realise... That it will faze you and you will go back to finding it unbelievably icky....viewing poop in your living room is a sight you don't get over!!

And that's what happens when you start the potty susu training.... 

We started a while ago... In the summer,,,when he was walking around and the weather was good... We'd leave him butt naked for a few hours a day....

Oh that butt!!!! It's seriously the most bite- able thing in the world!!! Baby's bums are like two little yummy donuts that you can't get enough of!!! 

And while you are staring at that cute bum... Poop poop!!! 

Ha ha ha ha ya killed it I know... But that's exactly how it goes down! 

Potty training is a lot of hard work... More than getting them to eat.., eating in comparison is is a cake walk....

1. First you have to understand what his pee intervals are... For this you will experience a couple of unannounced pee sessions... Where you will enter a room, see water on the floor be thoroughly confused and then realise he has peed there.... It takes some time... But you start to get an idea... 

2. Once you know he goes every say hour and a half, this also depends on the weather, you need to take him to the loo every hour and a half... Stand there and make that buzzing sound... You know what I'm taking about !!!!! Or you need to run the tap on slow... So he hears the water running and it makes him go... 

3.All thru I would say 'okie Siddy now pee pee' or ' okie now do susu' word association is very important. This helps because once he starts saying words he will use these to tell you he needs to go...

4. Make a big deal when he does pee... Clap your hands and say 'yayie baby you did susu... Such a good boy you are' there was a time Siddy would clap every time he did susu!!! 

5. Also start associating the bathroom with doing susu.... So when you are taking him say " baby now we are going to the bathroom to do susu okie..." Or when he does it in another room say " baby no doing susu in the kitchen only in the bathroom" 

Siddy is now pretty trained to tell us he needs to go susu in the bathroom.... He will hold my hand and say ' mumma susu.... Or mumma bathroom' and off we go.... 

Also very important the days he does pee or poop in the living room or bedroom.. Make sure not to yell at him... It's very important they do not associate shame with pooping and peeing... Trust me I have heard of cases where the kids feel so bad they control it to the point that they don't poop and get constipated... And they don't potty train easily too.. So be firm say " no no... No susu here, susu in bathroom" but no "bad boy.., what did you do?"

Potty training for us has pretty much just started.... In fact we only just bought him his little potty seat. And he freaks out every time I make him sit on it...

But few months ago we started cleaning his bum in the bathroom after every potty session rather than just using wipes... We have even made him balance on the toilet and washed his bum so he gets an idea and feel of it... 

He loves the word 'potty' but doesn't always say it before going... Some days he says it after going... Minus the diaper.

Hmmmmmmm

But we are getting somewhere... And hopefully the little potty seat should help... Hey if he can get susu trained I'm sure this will happen too... Soon!!! 



Sorry about the gaps!

I've been writing less.... And I'm not liking it.... Apparently friends aren't liking it either!! 

I had no idea how many 'regular' readers I have.... I mean people who don't necessarily wait for me to share a new post on facebook but actually go check my blog every other day....

To those: a big big thank you and an even bigger sorry!

An 18 month old is pure madness.... But an 18 month old with a mommy who wants to work... Well thats a whole other level of madness....!!

The last six months with the shift to Bombay and working and school and Aadi's new job and us wanting to catch up with every one we know.... It's been madly chaotic....

The other day I told a girl, married four years now and getting the not so subtle hints of having a baby, that you can only have a baby if you have a mommy!!!

And any mommy will do as long they are living with you! 

Seriously any work from my side and any night outs with friends is only possible because I know bumbling is with someone who will love him as much as I do... 

(Ok enough maska)

Coming back to the long gaps in my posts... Well it really is this big jumble of Siddy and my work... And because I love each one soooo much and because each is in such an infant stage, my older baby, my blog is getting neglected.... Though not as much as my crafty blog 'chroniclesofastayathome.blogspot.in' that poor thing I think is in coma!!

Funnily, these last six months have been so full of activity and change and madness but in all that actually sitting down to pen all of it down,just hasn't happened.... 

Even I'm aware that my last few posts have been very event centric... This happened so this happened and so I wrote about it... Not the way I would write about bumbling's every moment every movement every new quirk.... 

Well he definitely has developed a whole new bunch of quirks people... For starters he has discovered walking backward... He has this really naughty look in his face when he's doing it and he looks directly at us... It's a very 'stop me if you dare' look..... And he finds it super amusing when he bangs into something... Giving us mini heart attacks in the bargain....

And he loves utensils insanely... But give him a glass of water with them and he'll be your friend for life.... He will then proceed to pour the water into one pan, stir it with his wooden spoon (which is way longer than his own little arm) then pick up the pan and pour the contents into another pan, while spilling a bunch of water on the platform.... Then same bit of stirring and he attempts to put the water back into the glass... However there is no more water... and so... " mumma mumma mumma mumma .. Mum mum mum mum" the first being him calling me and the second his word for water.... 

It's a messy situation.., but like I always say... What gives me half an hour of my life back,., I'm ok with!!

Another new thing we have discovered is to upturn the small tables in the house and then try to straighten them, or climb into them, or push them around the living room or drag them till the scratchy sounds drives "mumma" completely mental!!!! 

He has just become such a boy... His need to show his strength has become insane!! 

He picks up the cooker (empty of course... What kinda mum you think I am?!!) with both his hands from the kitchen to the living room... He gets his truck off the table and onto the floor.... He actually just loves picking really big stuff and lugging it around the house!!!! 

You should come by someday unannounced and see the house... Just now... I have found a kadhai on the sofa in my room under my purse.... I have found his shoes in a big cardboard box which came with his new potty seat (yes we are getting potty trained... That's a whole other post!!) 

have picked up about three cars, four books, four soft toys, one spoon, one plate, two bowls, three pencils, a chalk well at least a piece of it, an empty water bottle and one pan from our living room today.... 

And this was a good day... No I am not exaggerating I'm serious... This kids attention span is minuscule... 

Plus he has the energy of a mad bull... To add to that we know exactly what we want and most importantly what we don't want...so I can't fool him with stuff anymore... I can't distract him with colourful toys when he wants to sit up on mums work table to draw... I can't show him the crow on the tree when I want to stuff his face with food.... Nope... When he's done he simply says " no no no" and walks away!!!! 

So you see what I'm dealing with?

Every time he does something funny I actually start to think of what my first line will be like in my next blog post about this and invariably something will come up.. And the thought will leave my head and by night there are no thoughts... It's all a big thick dense vague thought about sleep!!! 

So hang in there.. I have just made some quick notes topics and this week I'm going to get to them all!! 


Monday, 25 August 2014

Things I can't really explain!!

It may sound silly but sometimes the weight of a little baby resting on your body feels so comforting... 

I'm sure most mums will know that feeling... When they stir in their sleep and you pick them and hug them to comfort them.. But in turn feel comforted with their warm cheek against your shoulder... 

It's a small thing but it feels so so so good....


Sunday, 24 August 2014

Mommies of pre schoolers talent search...

Siddy loves school... One of my biggest blessings in life to be honest.... The first week of seeing him upset and crying when I would leave was way too heart breaking.... But even watching him skip into school with out giving me a second look is a bit heart breaking as well....:(

But what today's post is about is the 'Mommies of pre schoolers talent search'

Which mommy can make the best tiffin, which one is a crafter? Which one is an artist... Which one can teach the kid to dance... Blah blah blah....

A while ago on Fmc, a mommy asked for recipes of multi coloured food because the kid was studying colours in class and the teacher had asked them to get multi coloured food in their tiffins... 

Who you testing people??? And did you loose all your crayons in class????

Yes ok I get you want to involve the parents ... And that's great... But sometimes I feel the mommies can also get a bit too competitive and that just ruins the day for the kid. One kid has his super fancy rainbow lunch and one just has three fruits chopped up real quick and stuffed into a box.... Not cool....

Someone once told me that for slightly older kids, the parents were given activities like water the garden or go post a letter at the local post office and such with either the mommy or the daddy and then write a small write up about it. Cool. 

I like this idea... Make them do things together... Make them create things together... These are good things.... Especially with dads... Who because of work usually don't get or take the effort to do these things with their kids... 

And God forbid the days they have to dress up! Oh my god... I'm a DIY Queen and I was lost!!! 

One day a duck then next week a spider! 

Siddy hates extra things on his clothes... More often that not he hates his clothes... He hates longs sleeves and loves he idea of playing with our hat collection but never keeps one on too long... 

So making him wear something that would resemble a duck or an eight legged spider... Ha ha ha ha ha!!! 

However here I will play the devils advocate... So the day I made him into a duck (pics to follow, hang on people) I did things last minute but they turned out kinda cute... But when I reached school I saw that just one other kids mum had taken the effort... Of the rest a few wore yellow t shirts but that's about it... 

So the next time I felt kinda blah to put in any effort as well.... Though in my defence early in the morning I did stuff six socks with wool and tried stitching them to siddy's spider man onsie to resemble the spiders legs....!!!

Not only did he Hate them... Aadi didn't think they looked good... So we just sent him in his spider man onsie.,,,:( 

My conclusion to this talent search thing is that while it's great to encourage the kids... And do fun stuff with them... As long as there isn't this sense of upping the other mother I guess it's ok....and also I feel the school should plan these days better... Like not have something major two weeks consecutively.,, it's tough for working mums..... Give them a two week break between each activity day.... 

But hey.... These fancy dress days are really super cute... I wish he other kids in his school had enthu mums ... Would have made for some cute pictures!!


Thursday, 21 August 2014

Juggler mommy!

I remember once saying that with a baby in the house the house members turn into members from a circus!! 

Well today i realised that a mommy's role is to be a juggler...!

Today at lunch.. I ate with one hand while my other was initially holding the bumling back from getting his little fingers into my plate and later it was used as his plate, since he had put a bunch of rice in it and was eating from it... 

It was one of my most difficult meals!! 

I have had similar moments when I have tried to do several things at one go...

Making him wear his clothes while giving him some powder in his hand to keep him distracted while making sure he doesn't trip on his towel and off the bed...

Slyly putting away the box of chips with one had while handing him the biscuit box with the other all the while twisting so as to keep the fridge door closed with my bum!!! 

Stuffing his mouth with food while checking my phone for updates on facebook while making funny sounds and talking non stop about the trucks and buses on the road without even looking at them!!! These are the most fun!!!

Putting him to sleep, giving him his milk and twisting my other arm so I can check my phone without the light bothering him....

Cooking in the kitchen (which in itself it a stand alone juggling act) while making sure he doesn't have access to anything sharp on the platform... While giving into his every demand of 'water' ' there tree' pointing to one one utensil at a time to play with....

Somedays it's fun.. Somedays you want to throw all the balls up in the air and walk away... 

Those days you gotta smile like he clown at the circus... ! 

Because letting it get to you, and I have experienced that, and if you have my temper, can be a pretty bad combination of an emotion....!!

So now while I juggle I do so knowing that he is never going to let up... So I may as well!!! 

Let me know how you juggle your lives?!!! 




 

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

Supermarkets

So often pre baby, we would see a harrowed woman, at a mall or supermarket, and my husband would say  'must be a mother' and invariably we would see a kid or two chugging along behind her....

It used to really bug me... When he would say that... But today I caught myself sitting in a corner at star bazaar while the bumbling looked out at the cars, holding my head! 

We've taken him plenty of times to malls and super markets before... He loves them but also has a time limit...and he gives some pretty loud warnings when he is getting done!

To begin with, we put him in the cart, and he loves strolling along looking at all the colourful products placed so neatly on the aisles... Ok fine I love that they are neat, he simply loves the colours!!! 

By the time we reach halfway he wants to walk... So I get him off and walk hand in hand with him... Slowly he gets bolder, pushes my hand away and walks independently, then he tries running.... 

That's the beginning of the the end...

From here on I know he is close to being done...today though he was exceptionally on a trip...

He wanted to go up and down the escalator ... We did that about four times... "Up up up up up" "down down down down down"

Then he found the aisle where they sell cycles and wanted to sit on each and every one of them... There were about ten of them.....

Then he wanted to push our trolley full of food all around the mart.. Almost bumping into people... I was that mother with the perpetual 'I'm so sorry' look....

Then he wanted me to remove daal from a packet and given him like I do at home.. And which didn't happen here...

And so we were super close to throwing a tantrum till he got distracted by the cars entering the parking lot...we went to one corner and while he looked out, I sat.... exhausted! 

I was seriously pooped.... My feet hurt... My hands and arms hurt from pulling him away from things... My back hurt from carrying him around half the the time.... 

My mum and I love going food shopping... It's been our thing for many years now... We go .. Stroll around, buy rubbish, eat rubbish, get shocked at our bill and come home remembering everything we actually went for and didn't get....!!! 

We end up spending at least about an hour and a half there.... 

Now we have a basic list... Avoid the aisles which make us buy rubbish... And work super fast at filling our bags with veggies.... One looks after him while the other quickly collects everything we need... And it's rush rush rush to the check out counter .... Just before he lets out a tantrumy cry we are in the parking lot.... 

I don't like kids who throw a fit at malls and supermarkets.... I don't ever want bumbling to be that kid.... So there are some few quick tips to make it so that he doesn't become that kid! Hope they help you:

Time your trips... I think we all know the time limit for our kids when we take them out... Do not exceed that time limit... 

And hydrate and feed them constantly... 

A full tummy equals a happy kid...

Simple enough to not to look like harrowed mums.... We just need to be smart mums... !!! 


Thursday, 14 August 2014

His other relationships....

Yes, he is your little baby and yes, you will always be his mumma... For ever and ever...

While that will always hold true... Make sure you help him build his individual relationships with everyone else in his life...

Starting with the most important one 

The Dad:

This will be one of his most solid bonds... The one that will define his strength as a person... As well as his sensitive side... His dad will not just be his 'my daddy strongest' but will also teach him how to treat women... 

So help them build that relationship... Help them nurture it and teach them both to have a mode of communication minus you.

I have seen most mums act as a in between to the fathers and the kids... And I don't think that's a good idea... Don't instill a sense of fear for the dad or make him out to be a strict person.. You play the bad cop... After all the dad's time with the kid is so limited since he is off to work everyday and back late... So let the time they have be of fun and excitement.

Let them do things that you don't do with the kid...

Like Aadi and Siddy have thier own little game time.... Aadi gives him truck rides and they play with the cars post dinner... And most importantly Aadi reads to him... That's one of my favourite daddy baby moments.... And very rarely do I do these things with Siddy... I want them to be 'their' thing... And I want him to know that...

Of course the dad and child bond is as eternal as the mom and child bond... But somehow I have seen most moms don't end up encouraging 
it too much... Or most dads don't try that hard... Yes changing a diaper isn't the easiest thing for a dad... But if the mom had some patience and let the dad fiddle with it a little and try to get it right, he will... Instead I've seen most moms get irritated and do it themselves...

So a little patience and lots of encouragement.., and watch that amazing bond get stronger.

His grandparents: 

Oh how he loves his 'Neneh' and how she loves him back.. The days she goes out he walks into her room looking for her saying 'neneh Neneh' it's just too cute! And he loves all her man handling and funny sounds... He learns to sit and watch the rain with her... He learns about all kinds of music with her...  things I can never teach...

He looks at the laptop and says ' Dada dada' and wants me to FaceTime Aadi's parents... Every time I take a selfie of him and me he thinks we are going to FaceTime and gets soooooo excited!!!

And how he performs for them... He will do all his new sounds and dances and noises on cue and loves watching them laugh!! He loves doing ' how does dadu do maalish?  How does dadu do excercise?!!! How does dadi laugh?!!!' 

And recently he has taken to taking my phone and kissing them non stop while we are chatting!!! 

And when he sees Dadima, he puts his arms out so as to tell her to pick him up... The heartbreaker that he is!!!

He even asks for Puran Chacha...he says 'Chacha' and when he comes on the screen... His smile is something to see... His whole face lights up and immediately he does 'satsriakal'!!!

I make sure once in two days no matter what... I will call his dadi and dadu and Dadima... I want him to know their faces their voices... I want the distance to mean nothing to him... I want him to know them like we are still staying with them...

His mamu, mami and tau..... 

His love story with his mamu is a whole other story... His love for bikes is deeply connected to his mamu.,.. So every time and bike goes by.. He'll start calling out to his mamu....!! Sometimes even randomly he'll say mamu mamu!!!

He took his time with his Mami... I remember earlier every time she would call out to him he would run to his mamu... At restaurants when Siddy would walk around and his Mami would go behind him, his mamu would follow... One day I told him not to go... I told him that only if the two are left alone will he start to trust her.. Start to be ok with her.. And voila.. It has worked!!! He happily stays with her now.... 

His tau is his ticket to the east... He loves hearing all his funny accents.. The way he talks in his fake Chinese!!! He connects that with him now... And it's too cute!! 

And everyone else he meets.. Like my friends who come over often... He loves his vihal Masi.., and gives her the biggest smile ever... He loves his Hrishi mamu when he comes visiting...

He even shares a great bond with our maids son who is home everyday for sometime.., the two of them play and run around... 

When the grocer comes home... He loves giving them money and taking the change from them... These are small relations but they make him feel so good so grown up and so connected with the people of the world...

So really encourage it ... Each kid is different.., they will react differently to people... But I think if you encourage them at this small age to be people friendly they will grow up with a great deal of self confidence... :)

                                   

Monday, 11 August 2014

The nanny diaries.....

Did I tell you about the little girl who comes to siddy's school with two nannies? One carries her and the other carries her school bag... And she is all of 20 months...

Isn't that a bit much? 

Yes, have a maid to help.. But help includes, at least according to me, cleaning up the toys after you and the little one are done playing, or heating up his milk for you to feed him... Not for bathing him, feeding him, putting him to sleep, or playing,taking him to school, changing his clothes etc.

There is a bond between mommies and their babies that needs constant attention, constant cultivation... And I feel if the ayya is doing most of the things that bond gets lesser. 

I'm not saying be obsessed with your kid.. But not bathing him? I don't know it's just something I can't be ok with. 

When you give your little month old baby a bath, clean his tiny hands and feet... It's a magical feeling. I have always loved showering Siddy, I know every little bump on his body, I know the small hair growing on his knuckles, the little clay stuck in his little finger on his right hand, I know these things... Because I watch him so close each time I am with him. 

I love getting him dressed... Somedays are painful when he doesn't want to wear clothes and runs around butt naked.... But somedays he just lies down and happily let's me do my thing.... Both days have their fun moments!!! 

More often than not I feel he's like a little doll toy of mine that I can dress up, comb his hair, make him wear his tiny little shoes it's so much fun! 

And playing with him... He loves all his cars and his big truck... He kisses his dog and then makes me kiss him too.... He babbles all his little stories which is just so adorable.....

Even just watching him play is amazing. He's a very quiet kid,.. He sits with all the utensils in the kitchen and has his own little party. He doesn't even need anyone near him when he goes into his these zones... All he needs are some pots and pans and a few spoons... And somedays I even put some mumra (murmura) in his bowls and he loves that! 

If I am not there to watch, how will I know he loves sitting at the window, that he loves playing wih switches and is fascinated when the lights come on, that he loves reading his books, that he can stare out and the window and recognise dogs? 

I don't want some third unrelated person knowing my baby better than me.... 

I've heard horror stories of how when a long time nanny left the mother was helpless doing the basic things like bathing and changing her child... How the little one cried and cried for the nanny.... 

Kids love the people who love them... The people who are there with them... The people who give them their time and attention.... They can tell genuine love from fake love... They really can... 

So keep a maid to help you... To make your life easier... But not to be you and lead your life.... Especially not the part that involves that little doll you and your husband created...! 

                                   


 

Sunday, 10 August 2014

The end of cafés?

Cafe Zoe.... It's an amazing refreshing cafe in lower parel.... Aadi and I went there for the firs time when we got our free weekend.... When mommy had taken the bumping off to Hyderabad... And we really loved it.... The high ceilings the openness of the space... The yum food.... All of it till we noticed this little menu like card on the table: a note to parents. 

It was a list of dos and don'ts for people who bring their kids... 

1. Keep them at your table at all times.

2. Keep their nanny's with you at all times.

3. If they run around and make noise we will make you and the kid stand in the corner. 

Really? 

And that's supposed to be funny? 

Just say 'we don't entertain kids'... Simple as that... Don't ok it for kids and then treat them and the parents like vermin. 

Yes I know... Most, I'm sorry to say, but Indian parents do have a very 'over' liberal way of bringing up their kids.. 

"Bachahain, chalta hain" attitude can be absolutely painful.  And kids of these parents are spoilt rotten eggs... I agree to that too... In fact I recently met an owner of another cafe close by with whom I brought up this topic and she was shocked to hear that they would actually write that and put it on a table. 

She recently had a large group of people with about seven kids who nearly destroyed her walls with their crayons, messed up her magazine and coffee table books rack and almost toppled a five lakh statue. After these guest left she had to shut down her cafe for two hours to clean it up... And she said the parent were unapologetic. Which is sad, but it still didn't make it ok to put up a card on the table. Though they also ask a customer if they have kids in their party and place them all together. 

Also I don't think that crowd is going to cafe Zoe to begin with... I think they would have a lot of the new age young parents who know better.... Who restrain the kids to normal behaviour without tying them up to the chair. 

It's sad I feel, and maybe this is because of the way 75% Indian kids are brought up and are allowed to behave in public spaces, most new parents are looked at with a sense of worry. Cafés, restaurants movie theatres airports ... You name it and you will see that they are just not welcomed... It's also because most people are so short on patience with things these days that a crying baby is simply looked at as annoying.... No one will stop to think that maybe the kid is tired or hungry or sleepy... And if they do then they also think 'why can't the parent just take them home' and what, stay cooped up in their house till the kid turns 18? 

And family restaurants are just so family restaurants that we just don't feel like going there..... We aren't from that generation.... Of going for big dinners with Chacha tau and all the extended family members.... The new families are small sometimes only three.... And we like going to chilled out cafés and having brunches... But I feel like there aren't many places that cater to us.... It's either the big five stars or your home.... 

I wish more people would open up kid friendly spaces where parents like us can go sip on a beer while our kids can run free..... 


Monday, 4 August 2014

What will Siddy be like?!!!

First off.... thank you all who visited my little stall at the Momsoon Mela by the wonderful First Moms Club!

It was a great show... i got to meet so many new mums and women entrepreneurs who were so inspiring...

But all thru the show what got my attention the most were these little boys... aged from 5 to about 11.

Stray things roaming around the venue, clearly bored of their mothers never ending need to shop!

Some came and nearly destroyed my cupcakes.

Some changed my table setting to their liking...

Some saw something at an odd angle and their OCD kicked in so they stared fixing things on my table!

Some just made a face and walked away...

Some were shy and gentle, some were loud and rough.....

And all thru i kept thinking I wonder how siddy will be when he's older.

He's a sweet kid you know.... and when he was younger he was real calm and quiet....

As he is growing up he's finding his voice....

He loves shouting out the window.... he loves shouting at me .... and everyone at home!

He sometimes throws things around.... and throws tantrums too....

But essentially he's still a quiet kid... he still spends hours staring out the window or playing alone with his toys.... he even has this thing he does, where randomly he goes off to the other room and sits on this small step and just sits!

So its still unclear what kind of a boy he'll be when when he becomes about 5 or even 11.... but one thing I can say for sure... he'll be my little baby boy no matter what!!!

video