Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Kids to Parents to Kids...

I look at Sid some days and I can't even believe the love I feel for him.... Nothing and no one till date has made me feel such an intense mad crazy passionate love..... I feel like I could walk thru fire for him... I could come between a falling building and him.... I could.... Literally do anything for him....

It's a pure but not very simple love.... It's got layers and layer and layers of emotions intertwined in it! 

You want to protect him from everything... You want him to never get hurt… physically or emotionally… but on the other hand you want him to not always get everything so easy that he takes it for granted…

You want to teach him to be a good person… a nice guy… but not too nice that he gets pushed over… You want him to be strong and independent and yet you want to cushion his every fall….

Being a parent just makes you into mush!!!

You see your little baby and all you want is his full and complete attention… You want him to run to you in a crowd, you want to be the one to wipe his tears and make him smile… and if someone were to ask me ten years later, twenty years later, hell…. fifty years later would you feel just as much love for him… of course I would!!

He's my baby after all…. my little bundle of love!

So then it gets me to think… thats exactly how my mum must still feel about me today! How Aadi's dad must feel about him….

And how every time we fight with our parents and scream horrible stuff at them, tell them we don't love them, tell them they are mean and hateful parents…. now i realise how terrible it must sound and yet how easily they forgive us.

Because there is no way that I could ever want something bad for Sid, no way I would not worry about him when he comes late at night (when he does!!!!)…. he could be fifteen or twenty five or forty… but he would always be my baby!

I suppose the key is to find that balance or understanding at each stage in life… today a baby, tomorrow a teenager and then an adult…. but to still love them with that unconditional love and yet keep that distance of an understanding parent.

Its a tricky situation.

More often than not our parents, maybe because of the age gap or the more conservational up bringing they have had, find it more difficult to understand that while the kid is growing up they need to change their thinking pattern too…No twenty five year old guy is going to appreciate being treated like a thirteen year old boy and no eighteen year old girl is really going to listen to her mum!!! But what we kids forget as we grow older is that we were not just the most important things to our parents when we were little, we will always be forever.

I think its a never ending process…. our parents at some time outgrew their parents.. and fell in love with us…. but we outgrew them and fell in love with ours… who will eventually outgrow us!!

Its just good to be aware that this happens… and that its ok. The only way to deal with it that I think makes sense, is it to let it happen and not fight it. If you fight your kid…. he will leave… and today unfortunately its become so easy- get a job rent a flat with your friends and you are out.

And at the same time remember that you will out grow your parents… but that doesn't mean you just leave them… Can't stay with them? Get them a place next to yours… the next flat, the next building….. close enough for your kids to play with them and for the occasional lunches and dinners and if and when they feel unwell… but far enough to not fight over trivial things!!

Being a parent makes you a better child I think… it makes you appreciate your parents more… the things they did for you (still do!!!)… the good and the bad… and that just helps you be a better parent…. you try to not push your kid too much if you've been pushed or you won't molly coddle your kid if thats what your mum did to you!

So either ways… I think having a baby… continuing this circle of life…. makes you a better person!



Monday, 16 December 2013

Travelling with the Bumling Part two!

So now I'm happily settled into my seat... More like my own private row!

And it was surrounded by kids... In the row next to mine there was a little girl (lets say Maya) around two with her parents, behind her were two little boys, 18 months (Bob) and four year old (Charlie) with their parents and in front of her a little baby boy (Rajput Baba) around bumlings age with his mum and ayya.

Once settled I realized I had to make Sid his milk... so I happily pressed the button for the air hostess... I had recently watched English Vinglish and remembered how Amitabh tells Sridevi to shamelessly press the button and call the air hostess for anything.... So I did!! And they were more than happy to hold bumling while i made his milk!

Then i got his cotton out, put it in his ears ten times because he removed it nine times!! Rajput Baba's mum asked for some since she had forgotten...!

Captain announced for take off... but suddenly Sid had no interest in the milk.... So i gave him his soother, of which he chewed every part except for what he had to.... luckily the take off was smooth and he seemed ok!

Maya was a full cranky tantrumy little baby.... and made me feel like the old days when i traveled a happy single girl who would get annoyed with tantrumy kids.... but now that I had a baby... i simply sympathized with her parents...!

Bob was a noisy fellow too.... but his parents seemed far more in control .... and would keep entertaining him and feeding him....And Charlie was super interested in coming by to see Sid!!

Sid and Rajput Baba were chilling and doing thier own thing...

But I was super confused... because he usually just knocks out on flights... I had full plans on eating a sandwich drinking an appy fizz.... munching on some nuts and reading my book!!! Yes... very imaginative positive mind I have!!

However Sid had his own plans! He was in full masti mood.... he played with the bag they keep to..well get sick in!! He played with their magazine... an empty bottle, the seat belt, scratched against the glass... looked out into the sky, found that boring!! tried to pull off that fabric thing, they place on the seat head rests, in front of us...made me change from my window to middle seat so as not to annoy the man sitting on that seat...........!!

At one time he got a little cranky but refused to have his milk, so i took him to where the air hostesses are hoping I could rock him to sleep.... and also so that I could do all i have mentioned earlier!! He nearly slept.... eyes were super heavy... but the girls came back with their cart and he woke up :( so I gave up!

All I managed to get from the cart were some yummy cashew nuts.... which I hid from him and ate!! Gave him the colorful box they came in though!

After a point, for some reason which was surprising in an afternoon flight, they dimmed the lights.... which made bumling sleepy.... I think he was tired so he took the mulmul fabric I gave him rubbed it onto his face and happily knocked out!!

AAAhhhhh!!! What a feeling....!

I think Maya's mother wanted to kill me!! Because by now Maya was fully upset about something.. and was shreiking and kicking away in her fathers arms... he tried walking around with her but she didnt give in... At one time I even noticed, she had climbed onto the seat and was peering at Bob and Charlie... and when Charlie looked at her she raised her hand at him like she would hit him.... but luckily Charlie's dad saw her and pulled him away... rather than creating a scene, he simply showed her his angry eyes till she sat down...

This really made me think... I could see her parents try real hard to calm her... they gave her her milk... some cookies... they tried cajoling her , shouting at her even giving her a little whack on her bum.... but she just woudn't stop behaving badly. At one point when Sid was sleeping and she was screaming her mother looked at me with a very embarressed look and apologetic eyes... I simply smiled my best sympathetic smile...

What makes kids behave so badly? I think its when you give in to their every demand... and suddenly when it suits you you don't want to... I'm sure at home when she throws a fit they must be giving her what she wants because maybe both are working and its easier for them, maybe they weren't ready for a baby but had her since they did get pregnant.... it could be a number of reasons... but I think if your baby is cranky and throws tantrums, you have to get to the cause of it... because as ok as it might seem at home, in public... its the worst thing.

I really did feel bad for Maya's parents... till Sid woke up... then i was a bit mad!!! I was hoping he would at least sleep through the landing.... also because I had managed to read my book and eat all my cashews in peace!!

Anyway, once again i tried feeding him but he was just not interested.

He was fresh as a daisy and wanted to look around at everyone....Me on the other hand, I hate landings, so I was a little freaked again.... I held him tight and got ready for it..............

Smooth sailing!! He didn't even flinch!! He was so busy with a chewy toy I had given him.... that he didn't even realize we had landed!!

As always the whole aircraft started standing up before the gates could open... I have never understood that... why are people in such a hurry... it takes time for them to adjust the stairs... the luggage is still to be taken... why would you stand for twenty minutes?? Its this 'me first me first' attitude.... grrrrrrrr! I always sit peacefully till the last person has left....

But since I was in the eighth row and I had only one knapsack I decided to get off earlier... I did stand because Sid was getting super fidgety.... and oh boy... the kid went nuts.... he looked at each and every person and laughed at them... this one business man in his dark glasses and nose in his smart phone, actually had to give up his phone and play with Sid because he actually started shouting out for him!!! It was super cute and a bit embarresing!!

Maya's mum and Rajput Baba's mum also played with the little funny tot!! While stepping out the pilot smiled at him and he smiled right back!!

As soon as I got down, I went straight to a crew member and asked for my pram. A porter got it... so I asked him only if I needed help with my luggage would there be someone at the conveyor belt, he offered to come himself :)

So I put bumling into the pram which we carried into the bus.... here as well he kept smiling at an aunty and reaching out to shake her hand!

The porter helped my with all my luggage and strolled it out with me all the way to my brother's car and even helped the driver put it in the car!!

So no fear mommies.... between the airline staff and the airport staff... no one will let a single mommy go through any trouble...

1. Assistance is seriously all around, even if you don't ask someone will ask you. 

2. If you go early and smile (!!) your hand baggage could be taken into check in free of charge.

3.Carry the pram it really helps during feeds... and going from check in to security check in to boarding gate you'll need it... the only, only thing is the going to the loo bit.... but well what you going to do?!! So like me, trust the pretty air hostess and run and run back!!!


4. Carry lots of toys for the baby for the flight in case he decides not to sleep. And his food.... Feeding during take of and landing is the best. 

5. And most importantly if your baby is uncomfortable and cranky, IGNORE the angry looks from all the people around you... Your baby is the only important thing.... If you stay calm he will stay calm... Walk with him, sing to him... Just make him feel good :) 

And have lots of fun with him!! I played and played with the bumling till he got sleepy...! 










Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Traveling with the bumling!!! Part one!

So this time the plan was for me to go ahead and Aadi to follow..... I was sooooo happy to be going to Bombay, i just jumped around screaming "yes yes yes" without really thinking! 

He said "baby are you sure you'll be ok?" 

"Ya ya... What's there? He sleeps thru the flight.... So I'll be fine" 

"Ok.... ... So should I book?" 

"Ya ya" shrugging my shoulders and walking around the room all like whatever!!!!! 

Two days before the flight and I still hadn't packed... That's not me... I'm the kind who pulls out her suitcases a week before.. Makes lists... Starts putting things in.... Makes more lists!!! 

It was my mother in laws birthday the day before my flight... So I was happily celebrating (read- eating like a pig!!! I mean Chinese to bring in the birthday, South Indian do the birthday lunch, chicken curry for dinner!!!) 

Anyhow, I start packing one day before... And I freak the hell out!!! 

HOW? 

How was I thinking even that this was possible? I mean I'm allowed 15 kgs check in and 7kgs hand baggage, plus the bumlings 7kg only in hand luggage... Also I wanted to carry the pram so that I could put him in it for when I fed him at the airport.... 

Super duper stress has dawned on me..... 

Aadi tried so much to make me feel better, helped me pack all my bags and rearrange stuff and promised to carry anything I couldn't take (like my sketch books and colors, sid's baby book) 

But I was still all nerves! 

So I put up a post to some of my favorite mommies.... The first moms club on facebook!!!! And the quick replies I got... The encouragement, the support, the tips and tricks of flying alone with your baby.... It really boosted my confidence... 

Now I was ready to go....

I finally had like two suitcases, one 14kgs check in and one 7 kgs hand carry and one napsack of about 7-8 kgs hand carry... I prayed and prayed they would take away my hand carry suitcase...And guess what... They did!!!!!!

Suddenly it felt like a whole burden(literally) was off my shoulders. 

Post security check in, we sat right next to the gate... Him in his little pram looking like a doll and me starting at him thinking wow... We can totally do this!!! 

We had about an hour till the flight... I decided to feed him his custard half and your before so his tummy would be full and he would have his milk at take off and knock off!!! 

The whole flight pretty much boarded while my bumbling ate his meal and watched them! 

Then suddenly I got a call from nature... And I freaked again... Oh my God... How am I supposed to go to the loo?? I can't take him in, for one the loos are small and two... I've never gone to the loo with Sid around!!!! Just seemed weird! 

After thinking and over thinking and thinking some more, all the while my bladder threatening to burst... I went up to the ground staff girl who was checking the passengers in, and requested her to watch him in his pram while I went and came,.. Poor girl was so confused and hesitant but didn't know how to say no... And before she could I turned and ran to the loo.. Yes ran... Like a eight year old let loose!!!

Finally we board, we're the last one.. Really we are the absolute last ones!! 

I fine my seat, the air hostess helped with my napsack and guess what? The two seats next to my window seat.... EMPTY!!! 

Woohoo!!!! 

Sid wasnt interested in his milk, which I made by calling an air hostess to hold him while I did it... I think I finally remembered Amitabh's dialogue in English Vinglish... Where he tells Sridevi to press the button to call the air hostess shamelessly!!!! 

Anyway, so I give him a soother which he keeps throwing..... And next thing I know we have taken off!!! 



Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Sleep patterns...

I have a friend who is a relatively new mom... Her bumling is now three months. 

When I went to visit her maybe three weeks post delivery, she looked like a mess!! And all she could ask me was when will his sleep pattern get set!! 

At three weeks she was already going crazy with the mad sleeping schedules of a baby! 

When Sid was born, he was up a number of times at night... Every two hours actually, but I was very lucky that he would simply have his milk and knock back to sleep. He never was so awake that I had to rock him to sleep, neither did he cry when he woke up... So it was easy. 

By the fourth month he started getting up every three or four hours... His pattern was kind of set, he'd sleep by eleven wake at two and then again at six or seven. It was good.... 

And by the sixth month, I was blessed with a all nighter baby!!! He knocks out around eleven thirty - twelve and wakes at seven in the morning... That too if I put him into our bed and pat him sometimes he sleeps off again for another hour, hour and a half!!! 

I've heard of horror stories of babies and their lack of a sleep pattern. Babies who wake up crying or who wake up and are fully awake wanting to play. Babies who sleep for only an hour and then are up and again sleep for half an hour and wake up. It can be super taxing on anybody. 

Someone once told me that for the baby it was like a jet lag... They get so used to sleepin in our tummies during the day when we are out and about... And dancing around at night when we are relaxed and lying down... So now for them to switch their schedule it's not easy ....

You can help them create a schedule. 

1. Fix a time in the afternoon and night which are sleep times andkeep them constant.

2. Feed him a good heavy meal around twelve. 

3. Then change his diaper, if you generally use cloth nappies, use a pampers diaper for this... A baby who's nappy gets wet is not going to sleep peacefully!!

4. Next take him to your room..put him in his bed with a blanket.. This way he starts associating his bed and blanket with sleeping. Another thing is to take him away from people, because when every one keeps playing with him he will refuse to sleep. 

5. Play some soft music, or sing lullabies or just talk to him real softly.. Tell him stories.. Anything which is slightly repetitive... This usually works with Sid... The days singing doesn't help.. I simply say the words 'potato tomato papita banana!!!!!!' Random I know but some days it works like a charm!!!!! 

6. Don't be too hung up on rocking your baby to sleep... Let him do it himself... What I try to do with Sid is I walk around with him singing songs, and when he's semi asleep I put him in his bed... And he tosses and turns a little but he eventually knocks out. This was honestly Aadi's method... But it works... Not always... And you have to have more patience for it... But it's a good habit you know. 

7. Also make the room cozy... Draw the curtains, put on a small lamp, have the ac or heater on for some noise. Most babies need some white noise... I remember when winter hit and we stopped using the ac, poor bumling found it very difficult to sleep.. And we were so confused... Till we realized it was because of the silence... So we brought out the heater and put it on and ha ha... It was a snooze fest post that!!! 

The thing is... A number of things will keep distracting your baby when you're putting him to sleep... Sometimes bumling is semi asleep and suddenly he will notice some button on my shirt and will start fiddling with it and sleep is out of the picture!! 

Just be patient... Take turns with your hubby, because some days are just damn exhausting when your putting him to sleep...  Especially if you are super sleepy!!!! 

This one night... Aadi and I were exhausted and Sid would just not sleep... He walked with him then I walked... I sang a song then Aadi hummed.... But nothing... We left him on our bed with toys... We left him in his bed with his blanket... Wide awake!!!! And we were so so so sleepy that after getting grumpy with each other we reached a point where we just started laughing!!!!!  

So patience patience patience.. That's the key to a sleeping baby!!!! 





Miscarriage

Years ago, someone, not a pundit, but some one who could read palms had told me that I would have a miscarriage first and then a boy. 

In February 2012, I missed a period and was ecstatic!!  Clearly I had forgotten all about this "prediction" or whatever and I was jumping for joy. 

I told Aadi all excited and super happy, we secretly went and visited a gynac and got me started on my meds. 

There was a wedding in the family, Aadi's first cousin sister who is really close to him. So we decided to not share the news during the wedding as it would not be fair on her. It was her day after all!!! 

So we pushed off to Delhi for her wedding. Somehow Aadi convinced his parents that we would go by train, since we read it was the safest way for a preggie girl to travel. ( not sure that is entirely true though) 

During the pre wedding celebrations, I was extra careful. I tried to not jump around too much or dance too much. I didn't attend all the fun parties at night because I would be tempted to drink!!!!

It wasn't easy as most of the cousins were there and a wedding of such a close sister, it's difficult to not be a part of the masti :( 

I'm sure everyone thought I was being a big party pooper!!! 

But what was getting tough was lying to Aadi's mum. She of course couldn't understand why I wasn't dancing on every song for the sangeet, which I usually would do!!! So before she started thinking that i was being all stuffy and uppity!! We decided to tell her. 

So we bought a baby bottle and handed it to her!!! Oh she was so so so happy she had tears in her eyes!!!! Funnily my mum was there as well for the wedding, so we told her also! 

From then on it became easier for me too avoid too much dancing and stuff. 

But something deep inside me wasn't ok.  I knew at some point something was not right. 

Luckily there was a clinic below our guest house. I remember telling Aadi that something didn't feel right and I wanted to get a sonography done. 

So we went down and got one done, but there was no heart beat. The doc said it was fine, because he could see the little foetus, and sometimes, if it's too soon, or the heartbeat is too soft, it doesn't come up in the test. 

I went thru the rest of the wedding in a trance of sorts, because like I said I just knew something was off. 

My heart was just not in the celebrations. 

We came back to Jaipur, my brother came to visit. By then I had had another sonography and there was just no heartbeat. 

Finally the doc said, that 'it' would have to be removed. 

Now I knew there was no heartbeat which meant that whatever it was, it wasn't a real baby. It had no hands and feet, no eyes no ears. It was just a group of cells, dead cells actually. 

It was a simple straight forward operation. Took all of twenty minutes and I was home by evening. 

But a piece of my heart had broken that day. 

I don't think any logic works for us women. Heartbeat or no heartbeat, I had felt pregnant... I had felt that I had inside me my own precious little thing. And while everyone told me it was nothing, I knew it was something. 

Nothing melodramatic followed, luckily being me, I dropped those emotions as quickly as I had had them. 

For me, things that hurt me, I don't get rid of, I keep them inside me, to help me grow, to help me learn, to help me understand people and life a little better. But I don't wallow in those emotions and thoughts, I don't let them make me angry and hate doesn't take over.

So I took this incident, along with a trip to Bombay and Bali!!! And I moved on. 

In a few months, once again I would miss my period. Once again I would feel that I had in me something that was more precious than anything in this entire universe.... this time, when I heard that heartbeat, I can't even tell you the emotions that ran thru my entire body like a current!! 

And here he is.... My little heartbeat!!! 



Ps: this person had also told me what I would have next, a boy or a girl, but for the life of me I can't seem to remember!!!!

Pps: a lot of people are super superstitious about miscarriages... They tell you to not speak of them but I think otherwise. I think of how it helps you appreciate and be grateful for when you are blessed with a little bumling. 

Friday, 29 November 2013

Being unwell

Having an unwell baby is tough...

Having an unwell hubby at the same time... Tougher..

You being unwell as well.. Priceless!!! 

I'm not a winter person at all. In fact I downright hate the cold season. I'm pure sunshine. 

So when the winter started settling into Jaipur I started getting upset. But not as much as till my little bumble bee's nose started to leak :( 

I had already started layering him good... But the maid's daughter had a cough and you know how quickly that can spread.

So poor little bumling was miserable because he had no idea why so much goo was coming out of his nose! It was just heartbreaking (and super cute) to hear his sneezes... But when the cough hit... The cuteness went out the window. 

I know I know that a baby's sickness is far worse on the parents but trust me this cough of his was just horrible. 

Then Aadi started sneezing the very next day. So bad that he set himself up in quarantine in the next bedroom...which left me and bumbling together all night. 

I had to keep him in bed with me, which meant loads of kicks and punches, but at least he was comforted... In fact it was so cute, he actually came cuddling up to me once or twice!!! 

Nights, the cough was bad... We gave him allopathy that his doc prescribed... But I really wanted to try some home remedies. So I put it out there on the first moms club on facebook, and got so many responses it was heart warming! 

I applied Vicks on his feet, put sarson ka oil on his chest and back and gave him ginger and tulsi water to drink. 

He's much much better now. 

It's taken a good five days for him to feel better. In the mean while I got sick... The cold and cough hit me as well :( it was pretty damn exhausting I have to admit. But super mommy that I am, I got some crazy energy from god knows where and looked after him non stop!!

Ma was a big big help.... I would do an all nighter with Sid and then pack him off to her at around seven in the morning so I could catch a quick nap! 

To top the cake, she caught the cold as well on sid's fifth day!!!! Luckily by then Aadi was better and he and I took turns!!!  

Ha ha ha!!! 

What was truly truly sad, was that we were to go to Delhi the day after he got sick. All plans had been made, Aadi's cousins were coming down from the US and Malaysia. One of them has a little baby girl, sid's little cousin!! And we were all soooooo looking forward to the two of them meeting up :( 

Till the last minute Ma and I were trying to figure ways to just push off... Since cousins from abroad come so rarely.... But when Aadi fell sick all plans just fell apart:( 

Hopefully next time!

So we are all much better now... 

The only thing I learnt is that when your baby isn't well, go to the doc immediately. I know most people will say wait, try home remedies first, maybe homeopathy or Ayurveda, but honestly, even though I did try a few things, I think it's better to give him medicines and let him suffer less you know. 

Do the home remedies, but a good medicine and you'll see him doing better sooner. 

Colds and coughs are tough on us, I personally hate hate hate having a cold, can't even imagine what this poor thing must have gone thru :( 


You me and us!!

There is no doubt that post a bumling the 'us' goes flying out the window!!!

It's hardly possible to be all romantic amidst a howling baby, with the smell of Johnson and Johnson surrounding your room!!! 

But it's so so important.

A baby can and will completely take over your every waking sleeping moment... 

Every thought will be about the baby. All your daily chores will be around his daily routine. Making time for you and your husband will be something you will have to really work on. 

Look, marriage with or without a kid needs constant work... Constant romance and planning. It's not really all magic!!! 

But post a baby you have to work at it a little bit more... 

It's easier if you have some help at home, parents in laws.... Brothers sisters.... Make full use of them:

1. Go out for a date: 
Dress up, go to a good restaurant, have a drink, some starters, a main course, some dessert!!! Steer the conversation away from all things baby related. 

Or Catch a movie....Take those three hours off! Watch a silly film something to take your mind off the baby. Eat lots of popcorn!! Feel like a couple! 

Or do something you'll used to do when it was just the two of you. Go for a long drive at night or meet up with friends... Cook together or spend an afternoon watching your favorite tv series non stop. 

Yes you can... Just make the effort. 

2. Have sex:
This is by far the most important thing to do I think. So send the baby to your in laws house or your mums place. Hide all toys and baby stuff... Wear something super sexy and seriously get it on!!! The sooner you get back to some good sex.. The happier you two will be!! Yes your body may not feel the same and you may feel like a lump, but trust me.. Forget it and just go for it!! 

3. Have a midnight snack!
If the baby is keeping you up, use that time to have a fun midnight snack... Chips and cheese spread and some coke is Aadi's and my absolute favorite home binge meal!!! And it's not just about the food... Talk.. Have conversations about everything under the sun! 

Being a couple is all about chatting nonstop for me at least... And Aadi too!! We love talking to each other for hours about everything.... 

Just remember to stay fully connected... Tell him how you feel share your thoughts your fears ... Talk about the baby... Involve your hubby... Also some days don't talk about the baby and make your hubby the center of your attention... 

I think a lot if relationships go down hill post a baby because the girl makes the guy the center of her world before the baby and totally sidelines him post...

Yes the baby needs you, yes he fully depends on you... But so did your hubby!!

I always tell Aadi ... As much as I love love love Sid... He will always be my first true love... He will always be that one percent more... 

There will be as much gap between you as a couple as you let there be... So don't let there be!!!! 


Saturday, 23 November 2013

Sleep!

There was a time when I could sleep anywhere anytime!

I could sleep in a bus, I could sleep in a train, a plane, I could sleep in a car, i could sleep in a party with music, I could sleep with the tv on, I could sleep for twelve hours straight, I could wake up late and sleep again in the afternoon and sleep early at night… I could literally sleep thru a conversation with somebody!!

My capacity to sleep was incredible!!

My eyes just used to dose off at any odd hour... 

In fact I remember this one school trip we were in a forest resort in ranthambore and I was sharing my room with three other girls. Apparently at night a waiter has entered our room and crouched near our bed and upon being seen by one of the girls has taken a towel on his head and run out of the room... And I slept thru it all....!!!

That was how deep I slept!!

Today, the slightest cough bumling makes, every time he turns in his bed, a soft knock of his hand on the bars of his bed... And I'm up... At two, tree, four in the morning….

Heck sometimes even his baby snore wakes me up!!!

It's like I sleep semi awake... If that makes sense!! Ha ha! 

No seriously, I'm actually half awake thru the night... Or anytime bumble bee is sleeping next to me... 

Real sleep, that deep luxurious kind where  you wake feeling like a fresh daisy... Where every single muscle in your body is relaxed.. Hmmm..... Haven't had that since he was born!! 

What's worst is that the poor thing actually does sleep thru the night pretty much,  but even then I'm still awake and peeping into his bed!!! is his blanket on his nose, is is nose squashed because he's sleeping on his tummy, is his leg folded wrong….

That's what it is I guess, having a baby... Sleep is something that seems Iike a dream...  Some days when I'm completely zonked, Aadi tells me to take a nap and he looks after bumling.... Oh God, the blessing he gets from me those days are immeasurable!!! 

Just getting an hours nap minus a little thing trying to climb up on you… its an amazing feeling!

And in all this sleep deprivation, one of my biggest awwwww moments is watching him sleep!

Ironical? I know! But he sleeps so so beautifully, so gently he breathes and his eyelids are so pretty!!! And his tiny little lips pouting… oh and if he smiles in his sleep or frowns even…. my heart just melts!!




These are the few moments we slept together peacefully!!!!





Thursday, 21 November 2013

At nine months..

Little bumling completes nine months today...

And as I look at him all I can think is how big he's grown. 

It's something I'll always and forever be amazed by. He was so tiny when he came into my world, that people who came to visit him called him a chuha!!! And that little thing is going to grow up as tall as his daddy!! 

So today I did a really fun thing... I measured the two of them!! 

Daddy and baby!
Height - 6' 0" and 32"
Arm - 25" and 9"
Palm - 8" and 3"
Little finger - 2.25" and 1.2"
Leg - 37" and 12"
Foot - 10" and 4"
Face - 9" and 6"
Ear 3" and 2" 
Nose 2" and .75"

Can you imagine these numbers?!! And in about 15 years I can't even imagine how big Sid is going to be. These numbers will be more or less similar!! 

And I'm going to miss this super tiny thing that crawls all over me!!! 
 
I'll miss his tiny socks, and tiny caps, I'll miss his tiny hands clapping mine... And the fact that he still fits in my lap... He struggles and goes all mad... But he fits!!! 

I'll cry the day his feet fit in his daddy's shoes!!!! 


Happy nine months my darling!!!

A day in the life of...

Banged his head into my nose.
Whacked his toy on my upper lip.
Twisted my ears like a school teacher.
Pinched my stomach... Yes my stomach.
Elbowed me.
Kicked me.
Bit me.
Climbed all over me. 
Drooled all over me. 
Stuck his finger into my nose and twisted it.....

All in a span of an afternoon!


You gotta love this kid!!! 



Saturday, 16 November 2013

Sleeping with one eye open!

At almost nine months, Sid is all over the place! 

You leave him bang in the middle of the bed and in mili seconds he has reached the edge of it... Something about everything on the floor is suddenly super fascinating!! 

It's so scary when he reaches the edge of the bed and then hangs his head down to look at the hinges on the bed drawer... If I wasn't the super ninja mommy I am, he would be bouncing off the floor!!!!!!!! (Hawwwww parent!!) 

If I'm super ninja mommy in getting to him, he is super ninja baby in eating everything!!!

And he's no more interested in his teething toys... TV remote yes, mobile phones yes yes, random lint on bed spread ... Must taste!! 

Anything and everything must pass the tongue test.... I've heard it gets worse once they start walking around the house....but this fellow is already on a roll!! 

Gone are those days when he was rolled up in fabric and would lay absolutely straight, peacefully staring at the ceiling!!!! 

No no... Now mommy has to sleep with one eye open! Literally, my afternoon naps or those extra ten minutes in the morning when he's in bed with us, I have to keep one eye open... Because this little dude can suddenly decide to climb over me and fly off the bed like superman!!



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Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Being fit...it's important.

Being fit for and post pregnancy is super important. 

I have never been one to excersise or do any physical activity... Climbing down three flights, walking to the car, pressing buttons on my tv remote are all I could get my self to do!!!!! 

After meeting Aadi who was and is still very pro working out be it in a gym or some yoga or just going for a long walk, I started doing stuff... But never in a very disciplined way.

Today I regret it.

With my terrible consistent back aches, zero stamina levels, wrist ache, knee ache, head ache, exhaustion, I climb up our stairs and I'm huffing and puffing... It's embarrassing!!! 

I now wish I had taken better care of myself before I got pregnant even. And though the weight is one of the major issues, it's more about the stamina. 

So a really important tip I would give most mommies to be or girls planning on having babies is: 

1. Be extremely healthy first. Work out regularly eat well, do all it takes.

And 2. Try and have them young. I know today the age bar to get married only is getting so pushed back that most people end up having kids in their early thirties... While it may seem like a smart decision because you are able to give your work those many more years, but seriously your body is not exactly stopping from growing older. And recovery and loosing weight just gets more tough. It's not impossible.... Nothing is, but it's just tough. So if you have a choice I would strongly recommend going for it earlier. 

But seriously take this advice, today I know I am really facing a tough time especially with my back. Every time I put him in his cot or pick him up or change his clothes it takes a moment for my back to straighten.

Also the munchkin is getting bigger and heavier!! So carrying him around isn't that easy you know... 

Get back to your workout in three months... Well atleast start walking in 45 days, but it fully depends on your delivery. Don't push yourself but don't stall for too long either!! 

Also eat well post pregnancy, I'm not saying eat all those ghee laden laddoos everyone will try to give you, but don't completely cut out butter and ghee and oil fearing you're weight will go up, you need a certain amount of it in your diet... Have your calcium tablets, as big and uneasy as they seem!!! 

Well I better fix my back soon... Because this little bumling is fully ready to start running around... And that's when I'll need my stamina at its best!!! 


Saturday, 9 November 2013

Fun things to do when you know you're preggie!!

Pinterest has ruined me!!

I cannot do anything without first getting fantastic references or well atleast going thru Pinterest for about five hours!!!! 

When I got preggie I went and searched for some fun pics and things to do for, during the pregnancy and after the little toy was born!!

Here are some of my favorite things:

1. Take photos of your belly by the month.
I tried doing this... But couldn't complete it :( I took for a month or three properly but forgot for a month or two and next thing I knew the baby was out!!! Ha ha ha!! So plan these well... Maybe wear the same dress or use the same location..it's always great to see the belly increasing!! 


2. Make sure you get a baby book
This I did! I bought a adorable book to document his first year. And this I would recommend to everybody... His first bath, the first time he turned over, monthly birthdays!! And it's got this fun images where you can place pictures alongside each milestone... It's from the company fisher price. 


3. Make arrangements for foot and hand print. 
Lucky for me the baby book had a page for prints and I had two amazing nurses at the hospital who helped me get them! But you also get these clay sets and moulds at mom and me and mother care, which you can then frame. It's a great keepsake I think... And if you manage to get prints maybe on each birthday at least till he is ten... That would be fun no?!!! 

4. Make a cute announcement pic. 
So these days like a wedding announcement or save the date, announcing that you are preggie is super cool!!! Taking fun pics of the couple, the girl with her cute belly... You can hire a professional photographer if you like... These days a lot of people are opting or one.. Or like a school friend of mine announced on our group whatsapp with a really cute image :)


5. Baby announcement pics.
This is for when you want to let the world know that bumble bee is in the house!!! Of course you can get a professional photographer for some really great pics... Or if you are creative (read: too much time on my hands!!) do it yourself!! Scour the net for great images ( references for your photographer or you) borrow a great camera from a friend... I was lucky I got gifted one just before bumbling was born. And then shoot away!!! A little photoshop and ta-da!!

From the hospital we sent out this:


And when he was a month old... I wrapped him up and tied a little ribbon like he was a gift!!! Which he was and is in fact!!


6. Make sure someone takes a great pic of you and the baby on day one.
This is super duper important. You want your first picture with the new love of your life to be some thing frame worthy... Not oh my god I looked so bad!!! So (obviously depending on the kind of delivery) try to clean your face up a little, a bit of lipstick and blush never really hurt anyone... Tie your hair back or fluff it a little atleast... And smile... That big happy butterflies in your stomach smile!!! It will come naturally when you see that adorable little ET in your arms for the first time!!!! And tell your hubby or mum or someone you really trust to take the pic!! 


Luckily I managed to fix my hair a little!!! But oh my god... Just look how tiny he was... I can't believe he was such a small little thing!!!! Oh I just love him!!!

Well, start with these and if I remember more I'll come add them to this post!! 

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Sunday, 3 November 2013

Diwali with the bumling!!

Diwali and Christmas are two of my favorite festivals.... One for all the emotional and sentimental attachments and the other for the magical feeling it brings about! 

This year Diwali was super special because I got to share it with my little bumling. 

I made him experience everything that Diwali is about... Some lights, a few mithais, a party, a puja and the traditional early morning bath!! 

We didn't do firecrackers because it was just too smoky and he's too little. 

So Aadi's parents threw the bash of the year on our terrace! We lit up the entire house with fairy lights, my favorite paper lanterns and so many diyas.... We placed a few urlis with flowers and floating candles... I did rangoli around them....I even made these adorable paper diyas with sid's pictures on them!!! 



We bought him adorable kurtas and pyjamas for the party! He looked so so so adorable in them! 

The party was amazing... So many people came to meet him... And our little party animal stayed up till two in the morning!!!! He caught a few cat naps.. But was up and about most of the night!!! 


The next evening we took him to see the city lit up... Unfortunately there were hardly any lights anywhere... And he knocked out anyways!!!! 

Diwali morning... My mum made me do the traditional oiling of the family with a perfumed paste... So hubby and baby were placed on a flat stool which I decorated... And I oiled them and sent them off for their baths!!! 

Sid looked so cute all thru!!!! I bet he was super confused as to why his maalish was happening like this today!!! 


Then I found those little cucumbers that we smash so I got those for the family. So what it is is that the Diwali day is also the day where the demons are destroyed.. As kids we were given these little cucumbers on which we drew angry faces on and then squashed!!! It was a fun tradition and finding them in Jaipur made me instantly nostalgic!!! 

I dressed little bumbling up for the puja... Oh god how many times will I say how cute he looked... But he really did!!!! 


Ha ha!!! 

He loves diyas... Super fascinated by fire!!! And he loves mithais!! We took him to the gurdwara later to light a candle. 

I really love mishmashing all cultures for him... Love the idea of making him a global baby!!! 

The only part of Diwali, apart from the firecracker, that we didn't let him experience was taash!!!! Ha ha!! Aadi played for a few nights till the wee hours of the morning.... But bumling and I just crashed!!! 

So while this year Diwali was even more amazing because of this pet of mine... It was also super exhausting!!! 

I'm going to need this whole next week to recover!!! 


That's us at the puja, praying for a wonderful new year for all of us!!!

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

The right time.....

Of course there are days when I wish I wasn't a mom .. More like I wish I had no responsibility and boy what a responsibility a kid is!!! 

When I don't  have to wake at the slightest sounds or worry about how many packets of diapers are there in the drawer or packing away old clothes that don't fit and removing new ones I have saved as per size!!! 

Of course I wish I could just head out and party with my friends.. Come home drunk!! Or go for movies and not be counting on the hours I've been out because I need to be home for his next meal.... 

I meet so many mums and talk about babies and parenting... And most of the times I know they are thinking "Please no one can be that positive and that happy about having a kid" because I will always be the one with positive inputs... I always say "yes it's exhausting and tiring and sometimes really overwhelmingly... But it's a great fun and funny experience" (yes I said funny... Have you looked at a baby's face while he poops?!!!) 

I usually avoid the negatives because I feel that it's what most women and guys are thinking about... 

So I try to be a devils advocate.... But here it is: 

There are days I wish I could wake up free. 

There I said it! It is binding having a bumling some days... It takes away from a 'normal' life.... The romance in your relationship will get hit pretty damn bad unless you actively work on it.... Remember you will also die of guilt when you get this thought... The way I did a few sentences earlier!!!! And it's this absolutely retarded emotion of guilt that will make you think you're a horrible mother or will take you to the other extreme where you will "sacrifice" your life for your kid and grow to regret him and everything later....

So stop right there...  Know that being aware and admitting to the feeling is really step one. 

And my step two usually is to think of why I had Sid. And I remember that this was all planned. 

Everything in my life I have done, I have done because I have strongly believed it was the right time. 

Most people who know me well will tell you that I am pretty sorted like that... When it was time to get into a serious relationship I did... When it was time to get married I did... And when it was time to have a bumling ... I did. 

So because of this maybe I am able to stay more positive about the experience of motherhood... Because I'm at the right age (according to myself)....  Mentally and physically I was ready to have a baby. 

I think it's when you have them too early, too late that's when the trouble comes. Or if either of the two are not ready... Then it will seem like an uphill task.. Your life will seem like is taken a turn for the worse....

But for me now, sleepless nights or controlled Saturday night partying... Both may suck royally every once in a while... And for the days I just want to scream out loud in frustration... I take a deep breath, put my chin up,smile and tell my self "I can deal with it! All of it... Because this was what I wanted." 

Stress point: Want your baby before you have him or her. Talk about things openly with your partner... Give each other a hundred percent consent before going ahead. Having a baby will change your life... But positively or negatively it's up to you! 


Monday, 28 October 2013

Getting so big!!

Everyday he gets bigger... And everyday he becomes a little more of his own person! 

He doesn't just grow in size... He grows up. 

He will not lie down at all anymore... No no.. The bumling must always sit... Worse, when he wants to stand at all times... So no matter if you're at the dinner table or trying to watch something on tv or just plain exhausted.. You have to hold his hands while he balances to stand!!! 

He just doesn't fit in my lap anymore... I have to lay him down in bed with his head on my lap to feed him his milk... And now that we are on solids... He has his very own chair that he sits on to be fed... Such a big boy....! 

Another bag of clothes that are too small to fit has been made... Little rompers.. Small socks... Things he just started wearing maybe a month ago but has outgrown!!

But it's not just these physical changes that I get amazed by... It's the growing up.. The becoming his own little person that never ceases to amaze me! 

How when he's hungry now he will let me know... He will climb onto me and smack his lips or make this funny sound that I know now means food.. Somedays he even says mummum.... (Which I secretly think of as him calling out to me!!!!)

And when he's done eating he will turn his head and press his lips shut! 

When he's done potty he will make this sound that both Aadi and I know only too well!!!

When he sees me after a while he lets me know he has missed me... 

He's reacting and acting and showing a whole range of grown up emotions I didn't think I would see in an eight month old... Like when he's banging on a table and if you do the same... He will literally hold your hand and move it aside and then continue banging!!! 

I mean seriously... How soon do you want to grow up bumbles pie?!!!!! 



Falling in love... With hands!!!

I fell in love with Aadi because he had really good looking hands... Sexy hands even!!!! 

Some people may laugh but I'm sure a few will get it! 

He has lovely hands... Long fingers and a big palm... And when he holds my hand it feels amazing... I feel secure and loved!

Now I have fallen in love with a whole new pair of hands.... Soft pudgy and oh so so cute!!! 

Long fingers like his daddy but still so small... And the way he keeps moving them like he is exploring the world with them...

But this time I hold the little hands and make him feel secured and loved! 

Of course nothing in the world is better than watching my two boys.. The little one clapping his tiny little hands on the big one's palm!!! 

I started writing this post when I saw Aadi feeding bumling and bumling was resting his hand on Aadi's!! 


And by the time I was done writing... He was sitting staring at his hands!!!

Ha ha !! 





Of course eventually it has to go into the mouth!!!! 

But I really really wonder what his thoughts are as he stares down at his little fingers and adorable hands!!!! 

All I can think is ... I just want to kiss them!!! 

Sunday, 27 October 2013

Feeling needed?

I'm not sure if it's the best or worst thing of being a mother but here it is: that feeling of being needed by someone all the time. It's such a high! 

When I walk into a room and I see bumling's eyes light up and a small cry followed by a big smile.... 

When he wakes from his sleep and looks around for me...

When he finishes his shower and I pick him up....

When I bring his food to him and he opens his mouth.... Big round eyes looking up at me....

Each and every time, each and everything I know he needs me for. Changing him, cleaning him, feeding him, putting him to sleep, kissing all boo boos away, hugging him when he's woken in the middle of the night.... He needs me... 

And that feeling makes me feel special. 

Knowing that you're the only one who can make him feel secure, the only one who can make him stop crying, who can put him to sleep in minutes... Small things but they make you feel like a supermom!! 

I think this is one of the reasons women are very happy to have more kids.. Once the older one outgrows this need , they miss it so much, they want another one to be dependent on them.

It is also the reason, when the kid turns fifteen and wants his space, that there are fights or feelings of abandonment from the mother's side... 

So while it feels great when they are little it's very important to not live on that high of having someone so dependent on you that later you feel lost. 

Do for your kids, wholeheartedly, but know that one day his need for you for these small things, silly things, will be gone. 

He will grow up to be his own person, but up until then... Enjoy that little bumling's complete and utter dependence on you!!! Ha ha!!! 


Thursday, 24 October 2013

Disciplining at eight months?

So last night we took Sid out for dinner with some friends, to a really fancy place. We make him sit on the table and hand him a little chewy to keep him occupied while we talk and suddenly bam.... He throws his toy down and looks around at us.

We laugh it off, give him the toy back, and yet again he throws it and gives us a cheeky smile... We try again and I say "throwing is a no no" but no no he throws it again.... 

Hmmmmmmm...

Reminded me of this one time we had all gone to another restaurant when Sid was too tiny for anything, and there was this kid, maybe four or five, who started throwing a tantrum. So much so he damn near threw and broke a plate from the table, he banged the forks and spoons on the plates and shouted out loud, till his dad had to literally pick him up and take him out. 

So when Sid started doing that I immediately took the toy away, and he was sent for a walk with his dad. 

I think no kid is too small to learn to behave himself. He may not have completely comprehended the situation, but just the fact that his toy was taken away, I hope helps him develop this thought, eventually, that he can't throw them around. 

A lot of people I speak to say don't keep saying no to your kid, he'll grow up with a negative feeling to everything blah blah... And I never argue, I just smile and nod! 

Yes, you can't say no to your kid for everything, but if you want to discipline them, they need a word that signifies that what they are doing is wrong. No is simple and easy and clear. 

Man raising a good well behaved kid needs a lot of work and a lot of patience! And as they grow up, and start understanding things and (god help) start back answering.... Wow!! 

Hope I can do this right!!







Tuesday, 22 October 2013

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Bubbles burst....

So I didn't catch every gig...

I didn't drink myself silly...

I didn't go there lay on the grass and looked up at the sun when the sun was setting...

I didn't sleep till late in the morning....

I didn't do pre event  partying.....

I didnt do many of the things I had wanted to do... Or thought I would do. 

This trip, won't call it a vacation it really wasn't, was not exactly what I had in mind. 

What I had in mind was a vacation. A time to just put my feet up, let my hair down, feel... well responsibility - less. 

I live in a bubble world of my own I think sometimes. I imagine that there is nothing I can't do.. And then try and do everything even if it nearly damn kills me... And the end result is ... It kills me. 

Sid was to stay with my mum at my masi's place. They were to come for a day because my mum is a big music lover, but she decided to join us for two days of the festival which meant Sid would be there as well. 

While I wasn't prepared for but would never refuse. One thing I have learnt in the last two months is that he is my kid my responsibility, and I would never take anyone else for granted to look after him at the cost of what they want to do just so I can do what I want to do.
 
How ever it did left me with a eight month old at a festival. I was prepared to have them for one day.. And that day was great. Mum had fun, Sid had fun..I had fun.

But the second day was just tooooo exhausting. He wasn't as happy being there... It rained...  The banana I carried got squashed.... It was mad! 

I guess somewhere I was wrong. Maybe once you have a kid things do change. I so strongly wanted to believe that I could handle anything with Sid, that I could lead my life just the way I wanted to without stressing out... But I was stressed. By the last day night, I was stressed. 

Pushing his pram on the gravel, constantly sticking cotton in his ears, making sure he was eating on time, drinking lots of water, keeping him away from speakers and smokers....driving to the venue getting on the shuttle, baby bags and pram included, tough tough tough. 

But in the monkey's defence he is just the sweetest baby ever. Calm and happy.... Not once did he cry out, not once did he get angry. He slept in the pram one day and in the baby jacket another. He danced with me on my favorite Raghu dixit song... Passed out to dualist inquiry!! 

But nope... Don't think I could do it again. But what's the alternative.. I don't want to leave him with anyone... Because tomorrow I never want anyone to tell me "oh you're out partying while your child is with us" and if taking him is so exhausting... I guess it does mean we miss out on these things till he's grown up a bit. 

I guess my bubbles burst. 

Friday, 18 October 2013

Party days are over? Naaaah!!!!

It's been a while because a lot has been happening... And I just haven't had the time/ patience to write a post!!! 

Work has started and maids have changed... Plus we are in Bombay on our way to Pune so you know... It's just been chaotic!!

As always something sparks off my posts right... So the other day I met a friend who is much older with a teenage son, and she says to me "So your party days are over huh? 

And I looked at her, a hundred mean cocky shocked replies going thru my head, but I politely said "Well ya, but we are going for this music festival in Pune on the weekend.. So it's not so bad actually" 

She looked shocked and probably had a hundred things going thru her head, but also politely said " oh good good!" 

I mean seriously, I know it's not going to be the easiest weekend of my life but I'm going to give it my best shot. 

I have booked a hotel right next to my masi's place where my sweetheart mum is staying with my baby boy, and she has booked a ticket to the fest so she can come the days we take him, I have brought along his pram and the baby jacket to put him into, my brother is coming, his girlfriend's gonna be there, my best friend (also a fantastic baby sitter people) so I think I've got it covered!! 

Aadi recently found out that the festival organizers even provide ear muffs for little bumlings!! 

Maybe I may not be able to be the free bird I used to be... But isn't that just a state of mind? 

I have always felt, when people told me that a baby will bind you, your life as you know it will be over, I never took them seriously. 

I believe that especially with a baby, you should continue to lead your life the way you did, and make him a part of it (well maybe not if getting super high was your scene!!!) but ya... Go out for dinners with your friends, movies, long drives anything and everything... And maybe you might not be able to have a reckless lifestyle, maybe you'll rethink that bunjee jumping or sky diving (doesn't mean you don't do it) but then those are small things compared to that kid.. That silly funny looking kid who looks upto you for everything. 

Aadi and I love music, loved the nh7 weekender the last time we were there and we want to take Sid to experience something we love... I want music to be a very strong very influential part of his life... And the sooner it starts the better right?!!

So fingers crossed... Full if positivity and we are off!!! 


Thursday, 17 October 2013

Music with an eight month old!

Having a baby changes so many things... 

The funniest change I have found in my life is the change in the tunes I hum!! 

As a kid the first band I fell in love with was Take That!!! I knew every song word for word..... Then I want thru all the now embarrassing boy bands!!!! 

Moved on to the much sexier and amazing Dave Mathews band and matchbox twenty.... And that entire genre...

Till I found Fun and One Republic and Mumford and Sons!!! 

But lately it's been wheels on the bus go round and round.... Old mac Donald's and my own silly made up songs that I find myself humming...

That too without Sid being around... So I'm brushing my teeth and singing it in my head, or walking around the house and humming it out loud!!!!! 

I literally have to stop myself and start humming a real song!!! In fact so often when I need a distraction for Sid while feeding him, I make him listen to Fun or Lenka, who is his favorite, on my phone...:) ha ha!!! 

Hopefully he'll grow up with good taste in music!!!! Just so long as I don't grow old singing nursery rhymes!!!!