Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Today I crushed my little one's Heart :(

So today I crushed my little one's heart.

His actual words were " Im disappointed with what you just told me"


But lets back up a little so you get the whole story before you send me hate mail!

Lately this four year old has been driving us all up the wall. He's suddenly become this slightly aggro kid who doesn't listen, fights back, talks back, leaves the room upset mid conversation.


He comes back from school at one thirty, hasn't finished his snack box, and refuses to sit and eat lunch. Now he's starving and tired but he just wont eat. We will tell him nicely, we will be stern, we will threaten and finally we will get pissed... but he still wont eat. And then he gets upset with us for shouting. And he leaves the room saying

"If you're going to shout at me I wont eat" "If you don't give me the I pad I wont eat"

Yup... he actually gives us lip- this four year old three foot nothing.

And this situation is for everything- taking a bath, putting his toys away, changing his clothes even going down to play on somedays.

He's just become super stubborn. No this isn't me building up my excuse for 'disappointing' my kid.. its the truth!

We'll been trying to handle this with everything we've got. Time outs, taking toys away, taking his precious I pad away, making a good boy bad boy chart. Nothing seems to be working.

Now we can deal with all the sass, all the stamping of the feet, all the pouting and leaving the room, but we can not accept hitting.

And thats what happened today.

He, in one of his moments, hit his nanny.

Now since it was his first time ever. We all very sternly told him it was unacceptable, made him apologize and also didn't let him go down to play,

All good.

Till he did it again. To me.

Because I insisted he put his toys away at night and he refused, after telling him repeatedly he still refused, so I threatened that I wouldn't read a book at bed time. He still refused. And he also started crying hysterically as if I had asked him to clean up the whole house with a tooth brush.

And in his anger, he punched me on my arm and said "If you don't read me a book I wont put my toys away"

Thats it I lost it. I packed up my stuff for the night and took him into the bedroom.

He totally knew he had done something very wrong.

Now I have this sleepy baby crying away asking me to say sorry to him for shouting, which I really hadn't, and I was really upset about the punch. Still I decided to sit calmly and explain to him what he had done wrong.

"Baby, have I ever hit you? no matter how angry I am, have I ever actually hit you? would you like it if someone hit you? Its a very bad thing to do. No one likes children who hit"

He's sitting in my lap listening to me through his tears.

And I don't know what got into me and I said:

"You know right that Santa doesn't give presents to children who hit?"


The tears stopped.

"Santa wont give me a present?"

"Only if you hit anybody baby. If you're a good boy of course he will give you presents. So you promise not to hit?"

"How will he know?"

"Magic. His magical little elves are all over the world watching children and they write in their little books if a baby is naughty"

"Why cant we see them?"

"They are invisible baby"


"So you wont hit anybody now baby?"

"No mumma" (the quietest voice in the world)

"Are we friends now?"

"Yes mumma"

So I kiss him and push off  to get the beds ready to sleep.

Except I see him, and he's looking really really low and he's walking out the door.

"Where are you going baby?"

And thats when he said it

"Im disappointed with what you just told me"

"Why baby? What did I say"

"That Santa wont give me presents"

Damn. My heart just crushed and broke into a bazillion pieces.

I picked him and hugged him and kissed him.

"Of course he will give you presents baby, because I know you're going to be such a good boy"

"But what if the elves don't think so?"

By now I was feeling really bad that I said what I had said

"Baby I will go to North Pole myself and make Santa give you the best present ever.. tell me what you want and I'll make sure you get it"

His tears stopped and he smiled a very tiny smile.

"I don't know yet what I want mumma, but I'll think and tell you"

I gave him a big bear hug and told him he can tell me anytime and I would make sure Santa gives him his present.

I actually even apologized to him for saying something so harsh, and told him I had done it only to make him understand how bad hitting was.

Finally after it all he gave me a big hug and we read a book together and I kissed him to sleep.

Its crazy, how ever much he may be growing up, becoming a big boy with his own personality and becoming his own person... He is still a little baby who believes in Santa!

So Santa, are you listening, we owe this kid an awesome present!!!

Wednesday, 12 July 2017

The Spidey Stories

So spider man was a much anticipated movie in our house because some people are absolute fans.. not me.. something about spidey just seems kinda silly to me!! 

But I think kids just love him... something about a kid superhero who can climb up walls and shoot sticky webs from his wrist!!

It was also one of the first actions Siddy learnt.. when we should say to him 'What does Spiderman do' He would stick his wrist out and try desperately to put out two fingers! At two and a half it was hilarious! 

And then whole last month in Jaipur he played the game on the x box so I think his love for the superhero was pretty much at its peak!!

Anyway.. So because of his this absolute love for Spiderman we booked tickets for last weekend. 

Here are three funny stories around it: 

1. He told my mum, who wasn't in the city, that we were going to go see it. So just for fun she says 

"Oh Siddy you're going with out me? Even I wanted to see it"

He thinks for a minute and says " aree nene it's a very violent movie there is too much action you won't like it." 

Such a thoughtful fellow he is... he didn't want her to feel like she was going to miss out on a fun movie!!

2. We are in the movie theater finally, after building it up for like a week. The movie is fun but a little slow. Maybe a little too slow because in the last fifteen minutes, just before the big fight someone passed out!! 

Passed out... while watching a movie he couldn't stop talking about! This kid is hilarious!

3. For a week prior to the movie he would see this big billboard ad for spider man on the way to school and constantly talk about it. The day after the movie when we were headed to school and he saw the billboard and said 

"Why is this ad still here? I already saw the movie"

Yes because the guys put up the ad just for you and now that you're done they can totally pull it down!!!! 

Wednesday, 21 June 2017

The Picture Frame that went Whoosh!

For years now Aadi and I have believed, and experienced in a way, a spirit of some kind in our room in Jaipur.

Process that and lets move on...

Yes, something spooky something ghost like and yes we still sleep in that room. 

Over the years, they have done a few pujas in the room and even placed a picture of a God that helps keep the space, well, safe. 

So in our very cool Santorini inspired bedroom, there is a small picture frame of a God!! 

What kind of experiences you ask? 

Well, every time we come back here from bombay, the room has this very dense feel. Its not the typical, this room has been closed up for  a while kind of dense empty feeling. Because its never really closed up, and Granny always ensures she opens up the curtains and clears out and cleans up our space before we come. 

But some weird dense feeling exists. And once we move in, that feeling shifts to our bathroom. 

I remember initially, overtime I would enter the room and I would say out loud 

"We are here for a few days, can you please go away" and I would put on all the lights of the room. 

Days when I visit alone with Siddy, the nights he sleeps down are the worst for me. I keep the walk in closet light on, as it spills over into the bedroom a little and keep the tv on till very late, some nights the tv would end up staying on all night. 

This one night I remember, when Siddy was sleeping with me, I woke up bang in the middle of the night and felt something two inches from my face. The walk in light was on, but I jumped out of bed and put on one more light in the room, prayed and fell asleep. 

Going to the loo is tough at nights... I hate it. I literally run out of the bathroom and get into bed. 

I remember when I would wake up in the middle of the nights to feed Siddy, I couldn't put on any big lights, so I had my small night lamp on... It was already so spooky and suddenly in the middle of his feed, he would look up at the ceiling smile and wave. 


A new mom on very little sleep with full knowledge of there already being something weird in her room, now has her little baby smile and wave. 

Now over the years, I have kind of made peace with this feeling of something being there. We even joke about it and tell people about it but there is never any real fear towards it. Its there and we are there and its all ok. 


Two days ago Siddy and I are chilling in the room in the middle of the afternoon and he says

" What a silly picture na mumma ?" Pointing to the God's picture.

" Why Siddy?"

"How it moves on its on na?"

You know as I do, this boy of mine has a very active imagination. So I simply say 

" Siddy that picture isn't silly and it can't move on its own"

" But it does I saw"

"Saw what?"

"The other night, it just went whoosh to the side"

And I'll leave you with that and sixth sense. 

Sunday, 11 June 2017

The best compliment ever!

So we are off to Jaipur. All packed up and in our cab.

I worry because we have so many little stops, I have to pick up a jacket from my tailor, and most importantly I need to pick up the yummiest cake for the hubby's birthday. So basically its a super long drive from home to bandra to the international airport for our Jet flight. 

I sat in the front, since I'm trying to keep a little distance from the bumbling, and he sat at the back with the nanny.

Now all through the drive he had a million questions:

What is this, what is that, who made that building, what is that building..

Is it going to rain, is that cloud full of rain since its so black, how does it rain,

What is that thing on the building, what is an antenna, but I thought satellites were only up in space,

How come this aunty makes cakes from her house, doesn't she need to have a bakery shop, isn't it amazing then mumma that she makes them from home..

and each question to the best of my knowledge I kept answering. Simplifying things so that he gets it, giving him examples of things that he can relate to so that he understands. If I didn't know something, I would tell him honestly, baby I'm not sure, but I can check and let you know.

Once we picked up the cake and got back into the car, he tells the driver " please ab airport le lena bhaiya"

"Which airport would you like to go to sir"

"The international airport please"

"Sure Sir"

"Actually, we are going to jaipur bhaiyya, but this jet flight that we take is the only one that goes from the international airport"

"Oh ok Sir"

Yup! Thats the conversation, in good english on both their parts, between the driver and siddy!

When we reached the airport, the driver, Shoeb, asked me how old Siddy was.

"He's Four"

"What great questions he asks at four ma'am. He's a very smart child"

"Thank you! yes, he's a very curious kid"

"He is because of you ma'am. you answer his questions so patiently without getting irritated at all. Thats why he is happy to ask more and more questions. I see some mothers who ask the child the stop asking them questions because they don't want to answer them and they get annoyed with child. I feel the children will one day then just stop asking questions which is just not good."

"Thank you"

My cheeks are red blushing now.... to be complimented on being a good parent- nothing can match that. Not how good you look, how smart you are, how well you run your business.

To be told you are raising a good, intelligent kid who doesn't fear asking questions- nothing can beat that. Its the best compliment ever!

I thank Shoeb and give him a five star rating, not just for the compliment but also for being so patient with us and my many little stops!

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Playground Problems!

So today was that day I always knew would come.

The day the big kids would gather around me to tell me that little Siddy was too small to play with them. 

Luckily no one used the word Kaccha Nimbu! Ok my nasty mum did... but the kids didn't... 

That word has some pretty scarring memories for me.... I was the queen of being a kaccha nimbu... last one to be picked, first one to be made out. Of course to be honest, I'm awful at most outdoorsy things, you throw a ball at me and I will not catch it. I just won't. I don't care if I have lost the last point of your silly game and made you loose a "really close" match.. I don't catch. Period. And I don't run, don't bat, don't cycle. But thats doesn't mean I feel less bad about not being involved. 

Anyhoo......... Back to today. 

I drove back from the gym and as soon as I parked, around 6 kids came up to me "Aunty Aunty" 

cringe cringe. 


"Aunty siddy is too small and he runs too slow so he can't play with us."

Just then I see this super tiny super adorable little face, heartbroken, coming towards me. 

" Aunty when its his den he is too slow to catch us and when its our den he's too easy to catch" 

"And he's telling us we have no choice but to play with him" (Got to give it to my kid for that!!!)

So I say " How about you'll let it be his den for a minute, if he hasn't caught anyone you'll make it someone else's den. And if its someone else's den, don't catch him... just let him run around with you'll"

Long faces... except one! The one that matters most to me. 

So I come up feeling rather proud of myself.. only to be followed by my little one looking really upset.

"I'm so angry mumma" 

And my heart just crushes. 

"They can't not play with me na mumma. It's not fair"

I give him a super big hug and explain to him that this always happens, the younger kids always get kind of pushed around by the older ones, and when those younger ones grow up they think its ok to do that to other younger kids. 

He's still upset so I tell him we'll do something fun today and to not feel bad. 

So he goes off for his shower and I... I start getting upset. My little boy... my baby... his heart is broken, crushed.... how could they say no? 

They could easily have done this: when its his den after a minute someone purposely get out and when its someone else's den they could pretend to catch him but not for a few turns...I mean they could have done so many things to involve him.

But boys.. they really are kinda insensitive... and I don't mean it in a bad way. Its just the same principle of how your husband will not think twice to say " ya your arms do look a little big" when you ask him if you have got fat. He doesn't mean to be mean, he's just giving an honest opinion. 

Yes Siddy is tiny and he doesn't run as fast as the bigger kids. Its a fact. 

But what you gonna do?

What I did do was get some ice cream... gave him a bunch of fun sprinkles to toss over it and played his favourite music and watched him dance!!!

Now I have to admit, when I asked him if I should call this other boy from the building, a two year old, he suddenly went " No mumma, he's too small. He can't play my games" 

Ah a learning moment!!

"See baby... how you feel a boy younger than you may not be able to play your games, boys older than you think that about you. So maybe you give the younger boys a chance and hopefully the older boys will give you on too"

Thursday, 1 June 2017

His First Joke

About a year ago, we were all sitting at the table.... eating dinner and chatting when he put his hand up and said

" wait I want to tell you all something" (yes he's three)

So we quiet down and look at him,

" I na, was singing tunga tunga to amaira and amaira found it funny so she started laughing only..... ( and he starts laughing his infectious laugh), wasn't that a funny joke mumma?!"

ha ha ha!!! I didn't have the heart to tell him it was a funny anecdote because he really wanted it to be his first joke!

ok so you might not totally get this... google tunga tunga... its a punjabi song... and siddy's current favourite.... it brings out the inner sikh in him....

and the fact that we laugh when he sings it... (because can you imagine him singing "tunga tunga da saund karda"?!!!) he realised it was something funny so he either made up this story or maybe it really happened .... but the fact that he wanted to tell it to us like he was telling us a joke was just hilarious!!!

Little Stories-3

Story One:

We are walking down our lane looking for an auto, when I see siddy looking up at he sky and smiling!

Why are you smiling? 

I'm smiling at the sun...

(Confused) why? 

So the sun makes me strong mumma, and because he can't talk I can't say thank you to him and he can't say welcome.. so I'm just smiling at him! 

Story Two:

We were in the states just done with Disney land... and even though he never asked for any toy or gift despite coming into a toy store after every single ride.. I was just fed up with gift shops. 

This one afternoon towards the end of the trip, we were at the national history museum in New York and while the guys were buying tickets, a friend of mine, him and I were walking around when we spotted a gift shop and she said come lets take a stroll. 

Before entering I said to him ' we are just going to walk around... no shopping' and he goes ok mumma.

We go in and walk around , and at one point my friend calls him excitedly ' siddy come see this' 

While walking towards her he says ' I can come and see it..but I can't buy it ok' 


I've never seen more shocked looking people! 

Story Three:

We've put siddy in capoeira classes! 

We tried gymnastics and capoeira and he really enjoyed the capoeira...

And he's a blast to watch in class... at home we are, well like every new parent have been, very particular about him jumping from too high, tumbling rolling and everything and anything that can lead to him getting hurt (yes yes we are over protective parents- another day another story) 

So anyway, at this class he's allowed to do it all and he's loving it! 

Now because it's the summer holidays, a lot of times there are just 2-3 kids in class..

Yesterday it was just him and this other girl, who was annoyingly uninterested in the class. So at the end, when the little girl had left ten minutes before class ended, the coach decided to teach siddy the capoeira song. 

It was fun watching him sing along! 

At one point he goes, now I'll sing you a song 

So the coach says "sure" 

But you have to guess it 


It starts the with letter k ( he made the sound ka) 

Hmmmmmm... I don't know can you help me? 

No you guess. 

After attempting a few names " can you please tell me the song?" 

Ok I'll tell you in your ears ( and then he says quite loudly) it starts with an L 

By now I'm ready to pack him off and rescue his poor coach. 

Finally the coach remembers he liked Coldplay and guessed Coldplay and siddy was like ya ya  correct ka for cold play! 

Anyway so now he must sing the song. 

The night has started and it's Friday night and the party is just beginning....

And something something along these nights of a Friday night party!!!! 

 I just wanted to vanish into thin air!!!!